8.08.2010

INGILIZCE POST - POST IN ENGLISH

This post is written especially for the two lovely ladies i met in Bodrum, Aysegul's cousins Julia and Denise. They wanted to read some of my stuff so i decided to give them a hint.
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Last week i was in Bodrum with Aysegul for the summer vacation and i realised the staff who work in Bodrum is much friendlier than Istanbul. They smile all the time, they're very attentive and they're not smirky at all.
For instance in our last night we sat on this cafe where they serve desserts and coffee. Aysegul was a bit down, the waiter noticed it and said the ultimate cure for a lady who's blue is chocolate and he asked her if she would care for a cone of chocolate ice cream. How nice and clever! Not Einstein clever of course but at least they know how to please you and know how to sell their product.

But in contrary in Istanbul you get mildly sometimes very stupid staff with careless and smirky attitude but of course exception proves the rule.

Once i went to MAKRO buy some Prosecco which is an italian sparkling wine.
Maybe you don't know what it is and that's understandable but i don't think it is for someone who works in MAKRO's wine section.

So i asked the lady where i could find them. She looked at me and smiled.
Ohh reader that smile, you should have seen it! I didn't say anything and we stared each other for about 30 seconds, still no progress. So i asked again and the smile was transforming into something that i only can call "imbecil".

I changed my question and asked her whether they were selling any Prosecco. Same staring kept going, i repeated my question and all i got in return was that stupid smile again.

There i was having a monologue with some lady who probably hated her job and learnt from someone that if she didn't know an answer to a question, she'd better smile and make the customer mad as hell. I mean c'moon, we're not in school if you don't know something just say so and find someone who does!!!

This whole incident lasted about 5 minutes. Can you imagine, 5 minutes of staring, it's like we're flirting! Dude i'm not lesbian i wanted to shout. I opened my mouth and these words came out of it:
"I guess that this stupidity on your face implies you don't know what i'm talking about..."

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2,5 years ago when i had a relapse on my right arm my doctor prescribed me with steroids. What i did was to go to a hospital's emergency room, find a nurse, have my iv placed, wait for the drug to have it's promenade through my veins for an hour and leave.

It was the third day of the treatment so there wasn't too much development on my arm -meaning: it was still useless-.
I found a nurse and asked her to place my iv, she did it then she left. After an hour i realised all the drug was inside the veins so i called the nurse, another one showed up. She said it was better to leave the catheter on for the next day. I told that my veins were too thin, they would be blocked in the morning and they would have to place the iv again so it was better to take it off and i'd be much comfortable for me. We respectfully argued for a while than i gave up and let her leave it on.

Before continuing my story i have to say that i know they're trained and all but i know my body and i know what's going to happen because it happened before and it happened that day, again!!!!

Anyway she wrapped the catheter with some sort of medical cloth. I tried to put on my jacket on my own but wasn't able to so i asked her to help me with my right arm, the catheter was injected on the left.
She must have thought i was some kind of a princess wannabe, she said smiling:" Oh, are we delicate?"

First; that"we" talk, not cute at all. Second; there must have been something delicate about me that made me come there in the first place, right? Can't you just do your job, please save the small talk for someone who can bare it!

I didn't answer, but when she was helping with my left arm she suddenly left the jacket as if she helped me enough, i said: "Could you please help me 'till the end, i can't do it on my own"

Dear reader; i'm giving you the rest of the conversation exactly the way it happened:
Me: Could you please help me 'till the end, i can't do it on my own.
Nurse: Why?
Me: I'm having a relapse so my right arm doesn't "work" properly and i have the catheter on the left so...
Nurse: HAHAHAHA Are you kidding?

"Am i kidding?!!!! Are you kidding? Are you really a nurse or you took your degree from a grocery store? Even a vet is more understanding than you are, c'mon!! What kind of a question is that?"

As i was imagining beating her up with the fire extinguisher and screaming those words, i calmly said:
- My sense of humor is way better than this so no i'm not kidding. And i should say that you should quit your job as a nurse and never work in a field which consists on providing services. I mean any kind of service, get yourself a nice wealthy husband and knit.

I know i was a little harsh, ok maybe too harsh but imagine my frustration, a woman who works in healthcare asking me if i was kidding!!!!
The next day i saw her but asked for another nurse, of course :)

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you don't like your job, if you're not good at it, if you don't know much about it, oh dear god please quit. Stop torturing yourself and more importantly stop torturing us.

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